Heather's Surrogacy Blog
I’d like to introduce myself as a new surrogate blogger for CFC. I’m a gestational surrogate, who after an amazing first journey with CFC, has decided to do it again.
I will be sharing my journey on a weekly basis, start to finish, and hope you enjoy coming along on this adventure with me.
So far I’ve matched with an amazing couple and am starting the ever so fun screening process.
Last week I skyped with my new intended parents- LOVE them and can’t wait to work with them.
This week I am booking my counselling session, and starting birth control pills to manage my cycle. My intended parents are using an egg donor so it’s important my cycle matches up before we can do a transfer.
We are also starting the process of updating a legal document that outlines all of our roles and responsibilities before, during and after the surrogacy. Always important to cover your bases and make sure everything is in black and white.
Today I went to continue the process known as ‘screening aka making sure I am a good candidate and fit to be a surrogate for this amazing family!
I had four pages of tests that I will have to take. Both blood and urine. Safety is so important I know first hand they take my health very seriously and the health of the family’s future baby.
Luckily I have no fear of needles (I work with blood in my line of work and I am 100% OK with it!).
I checked in at lifelabs and after a short wait I was ready to go!
Countless vials of blood (actually I think it was 8) and 20-60 ML of urine later I am one step closer to getting approved as a surrogate. So exciting!
The tests will likely take a few days to process (patience isn’t my strong point, unfortunately) and hopefully everything will come up all clear.
Phew, lots going on and lots more to come before we can even start trying to get pregnant. I’ll keep you posted every step of the way.
Next week I’ll talk a bit more about why I decided to do a second surrogacy and how I matched with my new intended parents!
Until next week-
CFC's Angie makes Surrogacy Sacred
In pregnancy so often- birth is truly just about the end result. A healthy and happy baby. One that you can take home and cuddle and it doesn
Why CFC's Surrogate Sisterhood matters
If you are reading this, you are likely wondering what I am talking about, A Surrogate Sisterhood???
Let me take a moment to explain to you why CFC is Canada’s only consulting program with available Surrogates. It’s easy, it’s the Sisterhood of women that we have the honour of sharing this journey with. Our surrogates share their journey with their friends, and family, as they are truly a part of an amazing miracle, Surrogacy. The tribe of women who come around them as sisters, to support them is what it is all about.
At the end of a Surrogacy, the Parents that we as Surrogates partner with, leave the hospital with a baby/ies, but how do we as Surrogates leave? Have we been honoured? Has a Sacred space been created for our pregnancy, and birth? Do we know that a tribe of amazing women is waiting to surround us with Love, and Support? As a CFC Surrogate, that answer is Yes.
CFC works tirelessly to share in this journey with our Sisters, creating a Sacred Space for these remarkable women to grow throughout this amazing life giving process. We work with Surrogates to ensure that they are honouring their agreement with their Intended parents, while also honouring their bodies, as the pregnancy develops.
Next week Angie Campeau, our Surrogacy support worker, and I will be attending a Sacred Pregnancy retreat to learn more about how we can honour pregnancy, and Birth, not only for our Surrogates, but for the parents they are working with. We hope to create Sacred Blessingways to encourage Intended Moms through this process of pregnancy and birth. We will also be creating Intimate, and sacred ways for Intended Dads to participate in this beautiful process. We are just so grateful to have the opportunity to share in this Sisterhood, as it continues to grow beyond our wildest imaginations.
For more information on CFC’s Surrogate Sisterhood, and the amazing Tribe of women that we journey together with, please contact us by email firstname.lastname@example.org OR by phone 613 439 8701.
Egg donation considerations
When CFC’s staff talks with Egg Donors or Recipient Parents, we want to be certain that we explain the different types of Donations, to ensure that you are comfortable with the decision you are making, as it is such an important and personal decision. Our owner has personally donated in both known, and anonymous donations, and is happy to share her personal experiences with you.
Egg Donor FAQ's
Egg Donor FAQ’s
What medical procedures are involved with the Egg donation process?
Egg donation requires the stimulation of your ovaries with hormones to bring a number of eggs to maturity, then retrieving the eggs through a minor surgical procedure.
In order to become an egg donor, you will need to make a number of trips to a fertility clinic. First, you will need to be screened to make sure you qualify. For your screening, you will meet with a social worker or psychologist, and a Fertility Doctor. You will have a gynecological exam and blood tests to check for genetic and infectious diseases.
Once approved to move forward, the clinic will then set a schedule for the egg donation (or the
My experience as an Egg Donor.........part 3
As we sat down in the psychologists office, I started to plan in my head, what I was going to say. What should I say, what shouldn’t I say?? Would she ask about the abortion I had in college, had I listed it on my application, what had I listed on my application?? oh, no, panic was starting to set in, and that’s when it happened, She started asking me questions, and not one at a time, but more compounding the questions, one on top of each other.
So, M tell me what you know about egg donation? Tell me how old your kids are, Why is now a good time for you to donate. Then a miracle happened, she stopped talking. She realized what had happened, and apologized for her over talking, and admitted she had a very rushed morning with her triplets, yes, triplets, and as I found out through our meeting, they were conceived via an egg donor and surrogate.
We had a great talk. I really learned a lot about the process, what I could expect emotionally, how to find support within my circle, and of course the long term effects of such a decision- on my kids, and extended family. It was a great talk, one in which I learned so much, and thankfully didn’t leave feeling analyzed, or judged.
Next, I met with the nurse coordinator to discuss the timeline, and medical process, and then moved on to meeting the Dr for the ultrasounds, and other medical tests. I was amazed at how well run this clinic was, not what I was used to in Canada’s free for all social medical system. Three hours being a short wait at an after hours clinic in my small home town.
My appointment finished up meeting with the Dr, the nurse, and the donor coordinator from the agency to discuss their findings, and moving on to the next step.
M, we think you will be a great donor, and we hope that you will consider working with us as a donor. Please take some time to consider the information you have received, and whether or not this would be a fit for you
Before I could jump at the chance to say Yes, of course I’ll take another trip to California, sleep in an amazing hotel bed, and make someone’s dreams come true, the phone started ringing in my purse. I answered, as I saw it was my Mom, and she of course wouldn’t call unless it was urgent. I answered, Mom, is everything okay.
As mom Mom started to speak, the room started to spin. M, there’s been an accident, we are okay but Jase has a broken arm, and needs to stay in hospital for a few days.
I quickly told everyone what was going on, and that I needed to get to the airport to head home for Jase, I would call them to let them know of my decision.
Stay tuned for what happens next to M, as she navigates the process of becoming an Egg Donor in the US.
For more information on Egg donation, please contact us at email@example.com OR by calling us at 613 439 8701
A sacred space for Surrogates through Sacred Pregnancy training
Next month, Angie Campeau, our Surrogacy support worker, and I will be travelling to Newmarket Ontario where we will be taking part in a Sacred Pregnancy instructors Retreat. Sacred Pregnancy is an amazing movement that Honours women, pregnancy, childbirth, new motherhood, and health generally. It is an amazing honour to be sharing in this with Angie, and I am so looking forward to our time together there.
For CFC, one of our core beliefs is Creating a Sisterhood, and honouring our Surrogates in their rightful place. For CFC we continually strive to create a Sacred space for each woman that enters our Sisterhood, that we are here for them in whatever way we can be. Our support can be as simple as attending appointments, helping with receipt management, or more specifically creating a space in which they can becoming stronger, and grow as a woman as they walk this amazing path of pregnancy.
As Angie and I spend this five days at the Sacred Pregnancy retreat, we will be reflecting on, building upon, and growing our belief that Surrogates are to be honoured as they grow through this process.
This retreat will teach us many things, including how to Support women through pregnancy, Childbirth, and beyond. Upon completion of this course, we will then be Certified Sacred Pregnancy Instructors and will be able to teach the 8 week
My experience as an Egg Donor.....Part 2
I woke up the following day, and got super busy with cooking, and re cooking breakfast twice, after it made its way from the table to the floor- magically, as of course nobody would fess up to the spills. By noon I was exhausted, as I snuggled into the lazy boy, and flipped on the TV, the phone rang, of course. So as I went to grab the phone, Im sure I trampled over 5 legos, and a thumbtack, and after all that, I missed it.
I waited for the message to record, and then checked the voice mail. So, as I get to the most recent message I realize the voice on the other end, but not sure how……….Oh yeah, it was her. The Donor lady, her name, her name, oh yeah, her name, no escapes me, oh well, it was her, asking me to travel to California to meet with the Dr who will assess my suitability for Donating. California, seriously……..eek!!!!
As my excitement built, it quickly fell, the kids?? What would I do with the kids?? Who would watch them?? Would I take them?? No, of course not, a night alone in a hotel, just thinking about it was relaxing. Okay, so kids. I decided to call my Mother to see if she could keep the kids, before I called the agency back, and commited to going.
ME Mom, can you take the kids for me next week, for a few days?
MOM Why hun, is everything okay?
ME Yes, its all good, just a thing in California, no biggie, and please dont ask anything more, I dont want to talk about it
MOM Okay, I’d love to watch the kids
How did that happen, my Mom always asks Questions, but Im not going to worry about it, Im just going to be excited that she isnt this time.
Fast forward- I drop the kids off, and head to the airport. Im so nervous, my DC (Donor coordinator) had arranged everything from the flight, the hotel, a car service, and sent me money for incidentals while I was there, which was a huge help, as only had 37.26 in my checking account at that moment.
I arrived at the Hotel, checked in, and flopped onto the bed, excited I had a couple of hours before the appointment. No luck, a knock on the door. It was the DC, she wanted to take me for lunch, and hang out before the appointment, really??? I hadnt even shaved my legs yet, or anything else for that matter…ugh!!!! Well I felt it more important to impress the Dr, so I asked DC to hang out while I had a quick shower. That was the longest Quick shower of life. DC didnt mind. She was one of those perky, California blondes who just loves everything, and everyone. QUite a change from the majority of my friends- single Moms who are pesimistic, man haters.
So, showered, and ready to go. We headed out to lunch near the clinic. It was a great lunch where we chatted about the process of Donation. DC had donated several times, and seemed to answer all of my questions. I didnt realize until we sat down, the number of questions I had.
After lunch, we headed to the clinic. The appointment was scheduled for 1:30pm, and it was to consist of psychological testing, personality inventories, and blood work, ultrasound, and meeting with the Dr. As I sat down at the clinic, it started to hit me, this was real. As I looked around the waiting room, pictures of babies, pregnant women, and lots of dippy phrases, HOPE, LOVE, FAMILY, that type of thing. In any event it was happening, and it was real.
M, M, is there an M Smith here???? That’s me I answered as I stood up. Not realizing my leg had fallen asleep, and I nearly crumpled to the floor, the psychologist came to introduce herself………great first impression Im sure, but in any event, she smiled, so I did also.
This month we will be chronicling M’s journey to becoming a donor.
For more information on either known or anonymous Donations through CFC&lt; please call our office at 613 439 8701, or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
A Surrogacy story, when they get it wrong.
On June 27th of this year, the world was rivetted by a photo of two men, welcoming their baby into their arms. The picture was breathtaking, amazing, and a wonderful expression of Love, as two Men, become Dads. The photo is where the story ends, and Fatherhood begins, but what about the via surrogate, how did she get forgotten in all of this. How is her name not even mentioned, except weeks later, by a news outlet that spells her name wrong. How does that even happen??
As amazing and wonderful as the story is, it does a disservice by leaving the Surrogate behind. By via surrogate completely takes away from the sacrifices that Kathy, and her family made. The countless appointments, missed kids events, morning sickness, days home in bed, 80 Intra muscular injetions, 300 pills, countless ultrasounds, and midwife appointments, I have been waiting for Kathy’s side to be shared, or for the media to acknowledge her in a very different way, instead of via a surrogate, how about asking Kathy about the sacrifices made, in order for her to give the amazing gift of life to these Dads.
I touched base with Kathy before writing this, as I wanted to share my upset, and also ask her permission to give my opinion on how I thought the media got it wrong. I don’t think it was an intentional slight by the media, I think it was an honest interest in the Dads, and the Surrogacy side of things may be still uncomfortable to most- so lets play it safe, and focus on the Dads. As I write this Im smiling, as two dads, playing it safe, doesn’t sound safe, But it’s great that the acceptance of gay men becoming parents through Surrogacy is evolving, and there is less of stigma attached.
I guess Im writing this, as its sad to see story after story in the media about surrogacy, and the surrogate is referred to as via a surrogate, rather than the media wanting to know who this amazing, courageous woman is, and who her supportive, caring, nurturing family is, who supported her while she did the tough stuff. I hope that someone reads this, and decides its time to ask Kathy aka via surrogate how she made it through a failed transfer, all the needles, the blood pressure issues, the time in bed, and abstinince in her mariage. Can someone ask her, please???
For more information on Surrogacy, please call our office 613 439 8701 or email us at email@example.com
My experience as an Egg Donor
It was an advertisement on a Mom’s blog that caught my eye. It said- Make a Difference, Become a Donor. I clicked the link, having No idea what it was about. I was soon taken to a shiny site, with pictures of couples, and sad stories about why they needed the help of a donor.
I decided to fill out the application, and upload some pictures. I don’t know how, but it felt like an impulse purchase, one that I was very unsure about, but never the less I hit SUBMIT, and went on about my evening.
A few days passed, and I had all but forgotten about the application when my cell phone rang. It was the donor agency, oh shit!!! My kids were killing each other in the background, their dinner was burning, it was definitely one of those nights- you know the ones that happen everyday between 6-830 pm, yep, definitely one of those nights.
I immediately locked myself in the bathroom, and of course started to tidy myself up, as though this woman was standing in front of me. I mean surely she didn’t want a slob with dirty hands, or unkempt hair to be in her pool of donors. As I was pulling my hair back off my face, into a tidy bun, I realized that I was crazy, that I had officially lost my marbles!!! What was I even considering??? I could still hear my boys screaming at each other, while jumping off of furniture. Would anyone want these genes???
It was at that moment that I noticed the pj’s flung over the laundry hamper, and the sticker chart by the potty, and the toys that cluttered our very small bathroom, and in that moment I realized how amazing kids were, and that I couldn’t imagine life without them. As my mind wandered, the woman on the other end of the phone was rambling on about their service, and how they take great care of their donors, but it didn’t matter, well it did matter, but in that moment it didn’t.
I was ready- I was going to be an Egg Donor………………..
During this month, we will chronicle M’s story of becoming a Donor. The highs, the lows, and everything in between.
For more information on egg donation, or becoming an egg donor, please call us at 613 439 8701 or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
July is CFC's Official Egg Donor Month
The month of July brings warmer weather, bonfires, kids running through sprinklers, and of course, No School!!!
For CFC, July is buzzing with excitement as we begin a Month of our Egg Donor Awareness Campaign. CFC recently partnered with EggHelpers to bring to market an amazing Egg Donor program, like no other in Canada. It has been a true labour of love, and although we are still working out the bugs in our state of the art Database, we are running full steam ahead with our program.
What makes us different is that we don’t have high fees. We want reimbursements to go to the women doing the work, and are concerned about the ethics of agencies that receive 1/2 to 3/4’s of the same amount a Donor does. How is that even fair???
We also run our program Respecting the Rules in Canada, as CFC received a comprehensive Legal opinion during its case which finished up last December. This isn’t to say that other Canadian programs don’t, it’s simply stating that with this opinion in place, we are!!!
As well as the above, we support all types of situations- Known, anonymous, and Semi Known donations. Our goal is to ensure that all parties are comfortable with whatever path they take to parenthood, so we support them, and not our own agenda. Our donors are supported, we will attend any, and all appointments with them, ensuring they are comfortable, every step of the way.
This month we will have many Guest bloggers sharing their experiences as Donors, or Donor egg recipients. We look forward to hearing the good, the bad and the ugly about the experiences of Donors and recipients.
We look forward to sharing these stories with you, in an effort to bring awareness to the need for Donors in Canada.
For more information, please contact CFC at email@example.com, or by calling us at 613 439 8701