Nici the Doula shares her story w Surrogacy
Canadian Fertility Consultants- Surrogacy, when a journey ends
For most gestational carriers, the birth of the baby is usually seen as the end of the journey. For the intended parents, the birth is just the beginning of an entire life. For everyone involved, the weeks leading up to the delivery, as well as the weeks that follow the birth, can be a stressful, and a very busy, exciting time.
It is hard to predict how everyone will feel, and whether or not the relationship will continue, until after the surrogacy is complete. For most, it is a very happy and joyous time, with all parties celebrating the birth of the baby, and moving on to a new and exciting chapter, Parenthood!
During the weeks leading up to the birth may be the time when the future is discussed. Issues like contact after birth and potential sibling projects are commonly a topic of discussion.
Many surrogates choose to pump breast milk for the surrogate babies they have carried. In other cases, the Intended mother herself may induce lactation, in order for her to breastfeed her baby. Pumping is a huge commitment, and not something that all carriers are interested in doing, although is a great gift to the baby. Its very important to discuss, and ensure that all parties are on the same page.
If intended parents aren’t interested in breastmilk, often surrogates will choose to donate their breast milk to organizations or individuals in need.
Most surrogacy arrangements go very well, and everything goes as planned, although some situations don’t go well, and the carrier and intended parents have a difficult time, either saying goodbye, or working through issues that cropped up during their journey. Occasionally, things do not go as expected, or end up back on track.
It’s so important to remember this- The gift is the gift, no matter what!
We always suggest having a Surrogates kids come to the hospital to meet/say goodbye to the baby, to ensure that the closure has occurred, and that she, and her children have been able to say goodbye.
Whenever a relationship ends/changes, it can be tough. With Gestational surrogacy, the focus goes from Surrogate to Baby, and for many Surrogates, that can leave a large void, and unfortunately it is when this void is felt, that we see Postpartum depression become an issue. Intended parents have their baby/babies, and are often very preoccupied with parenthood, and aren’t reaching out to their Surrogate in the way that the Surrogate may have thought would happen.
It is very important that counseling is available to all parties, if needed, to ensure that everyone is feeling their best, and working through any unresolved issues that they may have, resulting from the Surrogacy. We always suggest that counseling be put into post care expenses available to the Surrogate in case these issue arise.
Canadian Fertility Consultants
Canadian Fertility Consulting
For more information on the process, please email us at firstname.lastname@example.org OR call us at 613 439 8701
Our Surrogacy blogger Heather
This week, our Surrogacy Blogger Heather posts about her transfer experience.
I could barely sleep. Did I have everything? Was I completely ready? The day had finally arrived. Transfer day!
I woke up early to an exciting surprise message- my amazing friend and surrogacy support worker would be coming with me to Toronto for my transfer. I knew this was a good sign that the day would go super well. I got my kids ready for school, dropped them off, got breakfast and a coffee and then we were off to drive to the fertility clinic.